The other day, someone told me “the world holds a mirror up to us”. It sounded important and profound but I was confused. What did that mean? “The world holds up a mirror to us.”
After obsessively wondering for the last 48 hours, here’s what I think this person meant:
First, I think by “the world”, she actually meant people. People hold mirrors up to us. Many people hold many different mirrors and that all comes together to form the world mirror. In each of those mirrors, and hence the collective mirror is a reflection back to us of the kind of person we are and the value we have.
This led me to wonder specifically about the mirrors that are held up to me in my life:
I have about a dozen colleagues I work with most closely and most regularly at work. They hold mirrors up to me. Mirror #1 through #11: “I value you as a team member because I think you contribute to making our work better.” Mirror #12: “I’m glad you are here because I know the team values you but I’m not sure how I feel about you personally.”
I have a huge family who I spend a lot of time with and think the world of. They hold up mirrors to me. Mirror #1 through #8: “You are fun, funny, and considerate and I love you to pieces.” Mirror #9: “I love you to pieces, especially when you are doing things the way I think they should be done.”
I also have a large group of friends, many who I’ve known for more than 20 years. They hold mirrors up to me as well. Mirror #1 through #15: “You always take a different path, one I never quite understand, and I think you are a bit crazy because of that. But I like you a lot nonetheless.” Mirror #16 through #18: “You are ambitious, a bit wild, and you live life large; I love it, and I love you for doing it.”
Going through this wondering process, I realized two things:
1) It’s true, if we stop and think about it, all the people in our lives do send messages to us about the kind of person we are and the value we have: they do “hold a mirror up to us”. They reflect back their opinion about us, and we hear it, whether we are aware of it or not. We may believe it and internalize or we may not. It may be a good idea to hear it, or it may not.
2) I also found through this wondering that there are remarkably similar reflections often held up by many people, and then possibly a subset group, or subset single person holding up a different reflection.
All told, I think this person’s message to me was indeed important and profound. I think she wanted me to be aware of the fact that the world does holds up a mirror to us and to understand what’s in that reflection. I guess the opportunity then is to evaluate it critically: Which parts of the mirror are real and true? Which parts do I want to accept and embrace and which parts do I want to ignore?
No comments:
Post a Comment