Over the years, I have experienced phases in my life when I felt ‘stuck’. At least that’s how I used to refer to it: “stuck”. Then I shifted to a more positive term of reference for these phases and called them “holding patterns”. That offered a somewhat more optimistic perspective.
But I have evolved the reference yet again. Now I refer to these phases as “observational periods of understanding”. I hope you know what I am referring to. You’ve likely had the experience, of one phase, or many phases in life when nothing much seems to be happening; you’re not unhappy, but things are ‘still’. They used to frustrate me, these phases, and often I’d leap into some mode of action that inevitably proved to be a mistake. Now, I rephrase my experience when I’m in one of those phases. I call it my “observational period of understanding” and here’s what I do:
- I acknowledge that something is probably germinating within: the seeds of some change to come. I relax into that. It’s comforting and makes the phase very bearable.
- I focus much more specifically on the way I feel as I go through every little tiny bit of each day. If it is truly to be an observational period of understanding, then I need to observe closely and I need to seek understanding.
- I accept contradiction within. Inevitably in these phases, I have two parts of me battling one another. One part is this ‘harbinger of truth’ voice: the one whispering the rational “likely reality”. The other is the power that resides in my unsophisticated stomach, otherwise known as my gut feeling. And that part lives in the world of intuition, of ideal, of no rational explanation. I let them both exist and draw no conclusions about who is the superior intelligence.
- I wait. Honestly, I just wait. An observational period of understanding cannot be rushed. Its path cannot be drawn; it must unfold.
Historically, when in the midst of one of these phases, I’ve found myself wondering if I would ever emerge. Inevitably, emergence does happen. It just can’t be planned. You just don’t know when it will happen. But one day, clarity arrives and sits softly on your shoulder.
And then, once clarity is sitting softly on your shoulder, you realize this experience was in fact much more accurately described as "an observational period of understanding", than it was a phase of “stuck”.
